And the Award Goes To...

Huge apologies for the way-too-long time off from posting. I have all sorts of excuses, but I won't bore you with them. So, onto the next post!

There are 3 good places to go with the headline of this post:

1) It's official: my personal award for best new show of the season goes to: Modern Family (Wednesdays @ 8 p.m. ET on ABC). Each episode is laugh-out-loud funny and well-acted. And the biggest plus of the show? We get Al Bundy back -- as an older and more charming loveable grump. The show's gotten plenty of acclaim, so you can definitely give this one a chance without any fear of imminent cancellation by the man.

2) The award for most disappointing new show of the season? That one will have to go to Community (Thursdays @ 8 p.m. ET on NBC). I was really looking forward to this one, particularly because of Chevy Chase's return to TV -- so I really tried hard to like it. Unfortunately, I have not been able to keep watching past episode 3. It was quite bad in the first 3 episodes. For anyone who's been patient enough to sit through the rest of the season, let us known if it's gotten any better.

3) Finally, how can I not comment on the Taylor Swift/Kanye West MTV Video Music Awards rumble? I was abroad on vacation when it all occurred, so I was extremely anxious to catch up on this juicy piece of national pop gossip upon my return. For anyone who missed it, here's a live clip of the fumble and the save. No surprise that the award for biggest jackass of the season goes to Kanye West.

SEVERE crime of fashion!!!!

This man is the scum of the earth. Plain and simple. Anand Jon Alexander (a fashion designer who was on America's next top model, the Tyra Banks show and dressed Paris Hilton) was brought up on charges for not 1, not 2 but 16 counts of assault and rape!!! This scumbag designer would have models come up to his apartment to do a "photo shoot" for his line and would then rape and assault them! The worst part - the models were between the ages of 14 - 21!!! WTF! He is also facing similar charges in NY with 9 more women!

Anand was sentenced to a minimum of 59 years in prison. I say keep the bastard for life!

If that's not bad enough, his sister, Sanjana is being held in contempt of court for juror tampering (she offered herself up to a juror who found her attractive. He is also being held).

It's bananas!!

One of my favorite guilty pleasures is back for another season - The Rachel Zoe Project! Rachel Zoe is a fabulous stylist and I just love watching the insanity that goes on when dressing celebrities!

Rachel and her bitchtastic assistants Taylor and Brad opened the series dressing celebs for the Golden Globes. While much of the drama is totally over the top, u gotta love their dedication!

Join the fabulosity Mondays at 10 on the channel where all guilty pleasures are born - Bravo!

Talk About Blood for Oil

Just as most other Americans out there, I am absolutely outraged by Scotland's release of the Pan-Am bomber, to (what else but) jubilation and reverence in Libya.

Scotland's reason for the handover of a man who killed 270 people and served only 8 years of a life sentence? "Compassion," of course, in light of his terminal prostate cancer diagnosis.

Well, while this reason made no sense to any sane person, diplomats and laymen alike, the truth -- which makes perfect sense -- has finally come out:

On Friday, Lord Trefgarne, chairman of the Libyan British Business Council, said Mr. Megrahi’s release had opened the way for Britain’s leading oil companies to pursue multibillion-dollar oil contracts with Libya, which had demanded Mr. Megrahi’s return in talks with British officials and business executives.

("New Questions in Lockerbie Bomber’s Release," The New York Times, August 21, 2009.)

Aaaah...so after years of liberal Europeans accusing the U.S. of trading blood for oil, we learn that the proper way to do it is to trade already-shed civilian blood. That makes it bloody better, indeed. Chip chip cheerio, carry on!

Give me a friggin break!

Tomorrow I am leaving for a fabulous vacation with my husband to the grand canyon and Vegas. I must say though, after watching the news recently, I am not sure what I should wear. Like any sane person, I was planning on wearing shorts when hiking in the 100+ degree weather down an enormous canyon, but apparently, when Michelle Obama did it recently, people went crazy!!! Some even went so far to say that she was a disgrace to our nation. You want a disgrace? Take a look at her husband's proposed health care plan! Seriously, what the heck was she supposed to wear? A ball gown?! Perhaps long pants?! It's friggin hot people! And they're not even that short!

Obviously it was a slow news day if that was all people could talk about. People need to stop acting like they are celebrities. It sickens me that I read more about the Obamas' wardrobe than their politics. They could wear trash bags for all I care! Lets worry less about what they wear and more about what Obama is doing to our poor country!!

And yes, I'm packing the shorts!

The State ... on DVD!!!

I can't believe I'm so late in informing everyone (in fact, I bet that any true State fans out there are wondering how I can call myself a State fan and not have discussed this sooner), but The State is finally available on DVD!!! Yes -- after a decade of waiting and pleading, the powers-that-be at MTV/Viacom finally decided that they might just make some money on this venture. Gee, MTV -- what gave it away? Was it the online petition from cult fans everywhere begging you to release your best show ever on DVD?

Anyway, if you're not familiar with The State, it's a 1990s sketch comedy show made by the same guys and girl who have since brought you Reno 911! and the like. In fact, these days you'll probably find their faces to be very familiar, as they have made appearances in various movies as well. And if you're at all into comedy, you really have to check out the 26 hilarious episodes of one of the best sketch comedies ever made.


All hail The State!

Why Didn't I Think Of That?

The newest gossip site making a big buzz is http://www.gossipcop.com/. Its claim to fame? Dispeling celebrity rumors and giving us just the facts, ma'am. It even has a real v. rumor --green v. red -- scale next to colorful pictures and headings that pertain to each story of the day. So, you don't even have to read full article to be in the know instantly. Amazing!

Why didn't I think of starting a blog like that? ...Maybe because I don't have the right connections. Oh well...one day. At least I've already spotted two real-life celebrities, and that's a fact, ma'am.

Step Right Up to See the NYC Reality Freak Show

The latest issue of NY Magazine includes an article called "The NYC Reality Freak Show," which meanders in circles analyzing Bravo's recent string of NYC-focused reality TV shows, in a quest to answer: "In NYC Prep, as in The Real Housewives of New York City, Manhattan is a kind of moral hell, corrupted by money and power and baubles and drinks. Is it really this bad?"

Yes, it's that bad, and why wouldn't it be? If the grown women on Real Housewives -- who did not grow up in the money-obsessed era of Paris Hilton and the like -- act like spoiled children with over-sized wallets, then how are NYC private school teenagers going to act?

And please spare us the excuses from these kids for why they have ended up being unfairly misrepresented as spoiled brats on television:

. . . [S]ome of the NYC Prep cast I interviewed suggested that the people they were onscreen were not the people they were in real life. Kelli, for example, says that she doesn’t live alone—on the show, she lives in an apartment while her parents stay in the Hamptons, popping in once in a while—and also claims to have never been interested in Sebastian, on whom she is supposed to have an unrequited crush.

Really, Kelli? So the producers forced you and your parents to pretend that you live alone for six nights of the week, and then they forced you to giggle on camera about how great it is to go out every night when you live with only your brother? Or was it the shock of seeing what you actually look and sound like on television that subsequently made you recant?

Obviously, good reality shows are like fun mirrors (in continuing with the freak show metaphor). Talented producers pick up on potentially sensational personality traits that are already present in each cast member, and they exaggerate them to grab the viewer's attention and mold a television character. (Clockwise from top left: Sexually-confused PC, queen bee Jessie, trying-too-hard Kelli, over-driven Camille, wannabe-playboy Sebastian, and status-seeking Taylor.)

But, while exaggerated, these traits are not made up. Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel says it best in the same article:

Frankel was approached for The Real Housewives by a producer at a polo match in the Hamptons, but initially turned it down. “I thought it would be tragic, just tragic, a bunch of women drinking and acting like idiots, and I would be the idiot who’d been on two reality shows,” she says. But she went to a party where she met the rest of the cast and changed her mind. “I thought, Maybe I should do this, because there is no way I could look like a crazy person with all these crazy people.” She lets out a guffaw. “You can’t believe these shows are real, because you don’t believe that people could be this insane, but everything is 100 percent genuine.” She sighs.

And (to the producers' chagrin, I'm sure) Bethenny has succeeded in coming off as the only remotely non-crazy Housewife.

Of course, it's nice to have a stable Bethenny character once in a while, so that there's someone who says aloud exactly what you're already thinking about the rest of the wacky cast. But, come on, it's the crazies that make for great television -- just as the freaks make for great circus acts.

Sarah Palin Resigns ... For Now

My take on Sarah Palin's resignation? She's totally (and unfortunately) gunning for President. In reading articles that describe the resignation speech, it's hard to picture it leaving any impression other than Sarah Palin wants to hide under a rock, away from the public scrutiny that has engulfed her life and her family. But once you watch the resignation speech for yourself, you cannot come away thinking anything but that this is all tactical maneuvering for a presidential bid. ...Keeping her "eye on the ball," as she calls it.

Celebrity Spotting

So I think my celebrity-spotting luck has officially taken a turn for the better. I ran into Terrence Howard at the Starbucks in the Sony store on Madison and 55th today. He was standing right next to me in line, and I wouldn't have even noticed him, but for the giggles of the Starbucks staff. Seems that he had been having a conversation with them when I walked in, and that he's a regular there. He was very nice and waved good-bye to everyone and told the staff he'd see them tomorrow. He looked exactly as he does in his films...perhaps even better in person. I then confirmed with the Starbucks cashier that it was, indeed, Terrence Howard. I guess that's just another perk of working for (and drinking) Starbucks.

This is so fab!

I found this online - It's from a 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly - I have to say, I do love some of these - although perhaps not the ones about staying out all night and not asking questions :)

-Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

-Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

-Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

-Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

-During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

-Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

-Be happy to see him.

-Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

-Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

-Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

-Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

-Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

-Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

-Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

-A good wife always knows her place.

Royal Pains - Dirty Sexy Money ripoff?

So I tuned in this week to the new show Royal Pains on USA. Basically, the show is about a doctor who loses his job, goes to the Hamptons with his brother, and "happens" to save a life at a party (convenient, huh?). The next day, people "happen" to have his number, and, much to his chagrin, the rich and bratty begin calling him for random jobs (Including a 16 year old who crashes Daddy's car, and a boob job gone flat)
Sound familiar?

Instead of a Lawyer who feels obliged to work with a rich family, we now have a doctor in the house.

Lucky for them, there's not much on in the summer, so I will probably keep watching!

I miss you DSM....

...Grrrowl!

Has anyone been watching The Cougar? If not, here's the awkward final episode, recapping the journey that 20-somethings Colt and Jimmy took to try to win over 40-year-old Stacy's heart, pants, and wallet. Some highlights? Colt singing his "So You Like 'Em Under Thirty" song to the tune of his guitar, and 23-year-old Jimmy bromancing Stacy's 15-year-old son.

A Real (Kinda) Celebrity Sighting!

If you read this blog, you know that I'm constantly on the lookout for celebrity sightings, but I have a real knack for never spotting any celebrities. Well, I totally forgot to inform everyone that I finally ran into a real celebrity about a month ago, just strolling the streets of New York (Chelsea, on a Saturday night, to be exact). It's this guy:
...You know, he's that guy from 30 Rock...the one whose name no one knows. So, alright, he's not much of a celebrity, but he's better than a reality show pseudoceleb. I'm moving on up.

Chapter one.....

And so my journey begins in the world of blogger. I feel very much like Carrie Bradshaw only without the voice over...
Much thanks to I am a Miranda for adding me as the voice of the suburbs! That's right folks. Now you get two voices for the price of one! Still working on my angle though - Miranda has the whole city vibe thing going so I think I might just embrace my "quaint" suburban existence and run with it.

And what's more suburban than a home cooked meal?

Recently, I am a Miranda asked me how to poach an egg, so here is poaching 101 along with my favorite recipe for eggs benedict. Enjoy!

Ok, here is the 411 on the poached egg:

Step 1: Fill a medium to large sized pan (a pot is too deep) with about 3 inches of water.
Step 2: As the water is heating up, crack your egg into a small bowl or coffee cup. This step is important as it ensures that you don't break the yolk!
Step 3: Add a little vinigar to the water and turn down the heat when the water is about to boil. The water should be simmering but NOT boiling.
Step 4: Carefully slide the egg into the water. Let it cook 2 min for a runny yolk and up to 4 for a firm one.
Step 5: Take out egg with a slotted spoon and lay on paper towel to absorb water.
Step 6: EAT! or use in my Eggs Benedict :)


Mrs. Van de G's Eggs Benedict
(serves 2)

toast an english muffin split in half
while the muffin is toasting:
blend together 1/2 reduced (or full if you prefer) fat mayo with 1 garlic clove, a squeeze of fresh lemon, a spash of water, salt and pepper. You can also add a few sprigs of parsley.
when muffins are done, top each half with 2 slices of smoked salmon and some chopped chives
top each half with 1 poached egg
top with sauce

Voila! Tasty and delicious!!

This sauce is also really good over steamed asparagus :)

The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien

On Monday night, Conan premiered his run on the Tonight Show, and the baton was officially passed. Overall, I was pleased to see a new generation of comedy in an earlier time slot, and I was particularly happy to see Andy Richter reunite with Conan. However, I was somewhat disappointed with the writing, and I was especially disappointed with the limited use of Andy as comic relief. And the same goes for the second episode that aired on Tuesday night. In fact, the funniest part of the second episode was Tom Hanks. (You can check out clips or full episodes here.)

I was hoping to see a new era of the Tonight Show with bits as funny as "In the Year 2000" and "Masturbating Bear," and with Conan and Andy consistently playing off each other. Unfortunately, all I saw were pre-taped skits that were just ... well, okay, with a tamed Andy standing behind a podium, barely contributing to the show.

Ultimately, I have a lot of confidence in Conan, and I'm sure the show will get better. But I feel compelled to say (in case one of Conan's interns is reading): Conan, please think back to your early days and what made your show special among the Lenos and the Lettermans. Channel that, and I'm sure you'll do great. And, please, use Andy more! ...At least give him a seat.

What Harm Could a Few Terrorists Do?

In support of the argument that we should close the detention center in Guantanamo Bay despite a Pentagon report "that about one in seven of the 534 prisoners already transferred abroad from the detention center...are engaged in terrorism or militant activity," the New York times reported today:

Terrorism experts said a 14 percent recidivism rate was far lower than the rate for prisoners in the United States, which, they said, can run as high as 68 percent three years after release.

What ever happened to common sense? ... Of course, this is piled on top of yesterday's New York Times' ode to hypocrisy:

"Guantánamo makes us less safe," the Senate majority leader, Harry Reid of Nevada, said at a news conference where he laid out the party’s rationale for its decision [to bar transfer of detainees to the United States], which is expected to be voted on this week. "However, this is neither the time nor the bill to deal with this. Democrats under no circumstances will move forward without a comprehensive, responsible plan from the president. We will never allow terrorists to be released into the United States."

So now the Democrats are admitting that Guantanamo Bay houses terrorists, rather than some poor saps who happened to be walking by a war zone and accidentally got rounded up by the U.S. army?

Why are we closing Guantanamo Bay again? Anyone?

Searching for the Perfect Pad Thai

The hubby and I have been on a quest for the perfect pad thai for years. Some are too soggy. Some are too dry. Some have come close to being just right...but never quite there. Well, I am glad to announce that we may have finally stumbled upon the holy grail of pad thai at a restaurant called "Land" on Manhattan's Upper West Side (450 Amsterdam Ave, b/w 81st & 82nd St).

The place is small and quaint, with excellent thai dishes -- pad thai or otherwise (the steamed vegetable dumplings, for instance, are not to be missed). But the pad thai is...well, perfect. Firm but moist noodles, the right mix of ingredients, no overpowering flavors or smells, not at all watery or dry. It's really just right.

Another two pluses in my book: Land has a nice selection of wine and serves sticky rice. While the wait can be quite long on a Friday or Saturday night, a great pub next door makes the time fly. And, well, the food is worth the wait.

(Note: Land did not pay me for this post, but if they're reading, gift certificates to their restaurant are always appreciated!)

The City

I was never really a fan of The Hills... mostly because I'm not a fan of L.A. But when they decided to make The City spinoff, I figured I had to give it a chance. (And in case you've been living under a rock or just simply living in the MTV-less real world, The City is a semi-reality show about a nobody girl trying to make it in the fashion business in New York City...with the help of clever MTV producers who spin her "real" life into a plot fit for a soapy TV show.)

So, the first season of The City just ended this week. Now that I've had time to digest the show as a whole, here are my thoughts:

I've grown to like Whitney. I especially like her pink lipstick...so cute! Anyway, I was proud of her in this last episode for standing up to evil Upper East Side snob Olivia and to her hunky downtown hipster sleazebag ex-boyfriend Jay. Go Whitney! ...Though, of course, this plot clearly falls in line with my prediction of this show being made to emulate the trials and tribulations of Sex and the City's lovable Carrie and love-to-hate Mr. Big. Case in point: In the finale of the first season of Sex and the City, Carrie tells Mr. Big to take a hike too. Sigh...how predictable.

I like Allie. I hate her player boyfriend, Adam, though. I definitely fell into the producer's love/hate trap here. And I bet all the male MTV viewers who watch this show (yeah, you're out there) love Allie and give props to Adam for scoring such a hot chick while getting some on the side. Those MTV producers are geniuses.

I like Olivia. She obviously got this gig specifically by agreeing to play the gorgeous, snobby, rich-girl villain. And why the heck else would she be working as an intern for DVF other than to implement the character of Whitney's frenemy in the workplace. Love it!

Jay, Jay, Jay.... As I've already mentioned, he's obviously styled to be the hipster version of "Mr. Big" ... obviously without any of the "bignesss." The producers are clearly setting him up to be the guy Whitney dumps and takes back...over and over again. I bet the number of expected break-ups and reunifications are spelled out in their contracts.

So, all in all, it was a great season. And yes, I know the show is blatantly set up and not real at all. (Why else would Jay's ex-girlfriends, for instance, "happen" to show up in the most unexpected places again and again?) But I know that taking "real" people and setting them up to deal with life's most awkward moments is exactly what keeps us all watching. For that, I give props to MTV.

Delta: You'll Love the Way We Fly...Without You

Going "airline" is this decade's "going postal."

I was close to "going airline" today at the Delta terminal in JFK Airport. Turns out the $500 airplane ticket I purchased on expedia.com was not for a "seat" on Delta flight 1823 from New York to Miami, but rather for a "reservation" for a chance at a seat. Turns out Delta overbooked my flight by an extra dozen passengers (and does so routinely for all their flights) without letting me know until I arrived at the gate...after I had checked my liquid-filled bag for a $15 fee. Turns out I lost the seat "lottery." Turns out Delta runs three flights a day from New York to Miami on the eve of spring break. Turns out Delta overbooked all its Miami flights. Turns out that your checked luggage can get on an overbooked flight...even when you can't. Turns out my luggage was in the company of another dozen or so bags that went on vacation without their owners. Turns out that when your luggage goes on vacation without you, you don't get your $15 back.

I was close to going postal...or rather, airline, on someone at Delta today. Instead, I wrote this post.

The Oscars Streaming Blog: Part VI

My predictions were all right! *Patting myself on the back.* Well, the Oscars were pretty blah this year. Some great dresses; some lousy dresses. Nothing very memorable, except those weird award presentations where egocentric actors and actresses who've already won their own Oscars tell the actor/actress nominees of the night (in the second-person) how each one of their innovative 2008 performances changed the world. Gag me.

The Oscars Streaming Blog: Part V

That dancing medley was fun! Woke me up. And that black girl showed everyone up at the end. Yeah!

The Oscars Streaming Blog: Part IV

I'm bored. *Yawn.*

The Oscars Streaming Blog: Part III

I stand corrected, WJW. Sean Penn has won before. But I hear his performance in Milk is the leading candidate for an Oscar this year. And besides, I think he should have won for I Am Sam way back when, so they still owe him one. I did not enjoy that musical medley at all. And was that vampire movie (Twilight?) a musical?? Why were those vampire kids singing during that medley?

The Oscars Streaming Blog: Part II

Finally -- Tina Fey and Steve Martin -- a breath of fresh air and some humor! Can either of them replace Hugh Jackman as the host mid-show? ...And Ben Stiller is hilarious! I don't believe he's ever hosted ...that would be great to see one day...maybe today? -- please?! Anyway, I'm happy to see the Duchess win for costumes -- it really deserved it. And if WallE hadn't won for best animated feature, that would have been ridiculous. ...I still have to see Slumdog Millionaire. My bet is (from what I've heard about it) that it wins best movie tonight. I think that Kate Winslet will win best actress...even though there's talk that her speech at the Golden Globes annoyed everyone enough to award the Oscar to someone else. She was really great this year. As for best actor, I haven't seen Milk, but I think Sean Penn deserves to get an Oscar after all these years of great performances. (As you can tell, I'm just not prepared for the Oscars this year, but I've been meaning to see Slumdog...I promise! I'll have to see it this week.) These are all predictions, but what I know for sure is that Leo totally got gypped this year -- he deserved to get a nod for Revolutionary Road.

The Oscars Streaming Blog: Part I

What was with that intro song and dance number by Hugh Jackman? That was so lame and not funny at all. I miss Billy Crystal. Is it me or do the Oscars feel like they're taking place in someone's basement this year? I guess they have to jump on the recession bandwagon. And that first presentation for best supporting actress -- that sounded more like nominees for sainthood than for supporting actress. And they didn't even play a clip of any of the performances! ...Btw, I love Marisa Tomei's Versace dress! Recession smesession.

Twitter Me This

I became a member of twitter some months ago to keep up with all things new. But I really didn't get it and didn't like it. It seemed that anything I could do on twitter I could just as easily do on Facebook...and so I signed on only a handful of times since then. That is, until I found out the difference between Facebook and twitter: unlike on Facebook, you can stalk -- scratch that -- "follow" celebrities' instant updates on Twitter without having to "friend" them or read about their fan pages. Hence, for the past 24 hours I have been obsessively following Britney Spears (britneyspears), John Mayer (johncmayer), Tina Fey (TinaFey), and Perez Hilton (perezhilton), who never seems to shut up on this thing -- but in a much more controlled way than on his website. I know that without twitter I could just as easily find out about all of these celebrities' latest happening by visiting their websites, but for some mysterious reason (probably the same reason that people scour Facebook for their frienemies' updates), it feels really cool to get up-to-the-minute updates about what all these famous strangers are thinking, doing, and eating (i.e., Tina Fey: Am I eating a Caramello bar for lunch? Yes. Yes I am. 3:06 PM Feb 3rd) by going to one simple website, without having to admit that I'm their "friend" or a fan of their Facebook page or message board. Is it just me?

Grey's Lubotomy

If you didn't know by now, Grey's Anatomy has gotten bad. Really bad. Perhaps Shonda Rhimes is the only television-watching person who isn't aware of this fact. So, Shonda, in case you're reading this, this message is for you: Despite the unbearable storylines, the annoying characters, and the over-the-top goriness, I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt; I wanted to keep liking your show, I wanted to keep forcing my husband to watch it with me.... But I can no longer justify doing so. Your show is that bad.

And as much as I really wanted to find out how Izzie and George end up getting canned, I just can't take having to watch anymore of this crap to find out. The last episode was so unbearable that I fast-forwarded through the whole thing on my Tivo, just to see if Izzie and George are still on the show by the end. The highlight of the episode: Denny (the talking ghost) didn't make an appearance. The downside: Izzie and George are still here. Sigh. Leave it to the brilliant minds at ABC to keep this garbage on while canceling Dirty Sexy Money.

Bromance: The Evolution of Man

The American "man" as we once knew him is officially dead. This important point in history was marked by the premiere of MTV's new reality show: Bromance. For years I've been saying that my generation has spawned a new breed of metrosexual men, forcing women to take on the dominant role in society. These men can't change a flat tire; they can't bang a nail into the wall; they can't throw a punch. But they can accessorize like nobody's business...while still coming home to a woman. What was once somewhat of a hypothesis has now been confirmed by this groundbreaking show.

The premise of Bromance is that a bunch of random guys compete to be the new best friend of Brody Jenner (of The Hills' fame - 15 minutes of it, that is). I don't know which scene of the show's first episode made me most confused -- the middle-of-the-night kidnapping of the boys in their skivvies for their first meeting with Brody, or the hot tub elimination, during which Brody told his "bros" (again in their skivvies) which qualities he admired most about each one.

In fact, at the outset of the show, everything about it made me think it was simply Brody Jenner's clever way of coming out of the closet (via a Tila Tequila-like confession to the contestants about why they were really there). But as the show progressed and 1) the only openly gay contestant left because it wasn't what he had expected it to be (obviously the same thing I expected it to be), and 2) one of the apparently heterosexual contestants himself noted that the jacuzzi scene was "awkward," I started to realize this show might be more profound than I initially gave it credit for.

I confirmed this realization when I looked up the word "bromance" online; urbandictionary.com defines it as "[d]escrib[ing] the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males." The show, indeed, seems to play off a bunch of heterosexual men feeling comfortable enough with their metro-sexuality to engage in "bromance." What's profound about this is that it marks the end of the era of the manly American man as our parents knew him. The new man is a girly man and he's fine with it -- proud of it, even. For a decade or so, he's been the "metro" who feels comfortable enough with his sexuality to put lots of product in his hair and to take longer than his female counterpart to get ready before going out. Now he's the "bro" who feels comfortable sitting in a hot tub with a bunch of men he just met, discussing his feelings for them...but not in that way.

...Just one small step for Brody Jenner, one large leap for metro-kind, and one more reason why women no longer need men. Suckers!