Project Runway in LDTV?

I've been trying to give Project Runway on Lifetime a chance, but I have only so much patience to give when it's broadcast in murky, low-quality non-HD on Time Warner Cable in New York City. Wtf? How can I properly analyze the intricate stitching and unique patterns so as to enjoyably assess which designers are the best of the bunch, when I can barely see the color of each garment?

Sigh. I don't know how we lived before HD, but get with it Lifetime! You brought the show back to New York City, now can you please let your NYC viewers actually see the show? Hand whatever bribe is necessary over to Time Warner so that you can broadcast in HD. (Bravo does.) I can only take so much, and I'm sure I'm not alone.

Another Lesson in Killing TV Shows

If you haven't heard by now, it's official: Ugly Betty is getting canned after this season. And honestly, good riddance. The show's been pretty bad lately. Painful to watch, in fact. But, I do feel some sadness in seeing it go, particularly when I think of why it had to end so abruptly: a broadcast network's use of the usual time-slot-shifting-MO in the quest to kill another inconvenient show.

Yes, the writing for Ugly Betty really went downhill this season. But that's not why it lost its viewership. The fans were still willing to watch...if only they knew when it was on!

Ugly Betty started out on Thursday night. At the height of its popularity (and after viewers convinced ABC not to cancel it), Ugly Betty got quarantined to Friday night. And just when we finally got used to DVRing it on Friday and watching it over the weekend, ABC --always a step ahead -- bumped it to Wednesday.

I'm getting tired just keeping up with Ugly Betty in this post. So what viewer would have the patience to keep up with it on television (particularly in a year when the writing is a bit...off)? Thank you, ABC, for murdering yet another show. It's certainly not on the scale of Dirty Sexy Money, but the principle of the matter is still the same. I just hope Modern Family gets to stay put on Wednesday nights.

Conan: 1 - NBC: 0

Alec Baldwin's 30 Rock impersonation of an NBC exec is really spot on. When will those television big-shots learn that playing musical chairs with television shows kills television shows? Bravo to Conan for releasing the following statement today:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,
Conan

Right on, Conan! Finally, someone is standing up to them. I hope this drama really pumps up your ratings, but I also hope that NBC gets burned when you leave them for Fox.

...Grrrowl!

Has anyone been watching The Cougar? If not, here's the awkward final episode, recapping the journey that 20-somethings Colt and Jimmy took to try to win over 40-year-old Stacy's heart, pants, and wallet. Some highlights? Colt singing his "So You Like 'Em Under Thirty" song to the tune of his guitar, and 23-year-old Jimmy bromancing Stacy's 15-year-old son.

The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien

On Monday night, Conan premiered his run on the Tonight Show, and the baton was officially passed. Overall, I was pleased to see a new generation of comedy in an earlier time slot, and I was particularly happy to see Andy Richter reunite with Conan. However, I was somewhat disappointed with the writing, and I was especially disappointed with the limited use of Andy as comic relief. And the same goes for the second episode that aired on Tuesday night. In fact, the funniest part of the second episode was Tom Hanks. (You can check out clips or full episodes here.)

I was hoping to see a new era of the Tonight Show with bits as funny as "In the Year 2000" and "Masturbating Bear," and with Conan and Andy consistently playing off each other. Unfortunately, all I saw were pre-taped skits that were just ... well, okay, with a tamed Andy standing behind a podium, barely contributing to the show.

Ultimately, I have a lot of confidence in Conan, and I'm sure the show will get better. But I feel compelled to say (in case one of Conan's interns is reading): Conan, please think back to your early days and what made your show special among the Lenos and the Lettermans. Channel that, and I'm sure you'll do great. And, please, use Andy more! ...At least give him a seat.

The City

I was never really a fan of The Hills... mostly because I'm not a fan of L.A. But when they decided to make The City spinoff, I figured I had to give it a chance. (And in case you've been living under a rock or just simply living in the MTV-less real world, The City is a semi-reality show about a nobody girl trying to make it in the fashion business in New York City...with the help of clever MTV producers who spin her "real" life into a plot fit for a soapy TV show.)

So, the first season of The City just ended this week. Now that I've had time to digest the show as a whole, here are my thoughts:

I've grown to like Whitney. I especially like her pink lipstick...so cute! Anyway, I was proud of her in this last episode for standing up to evil Upper East Side snob Olivia and to her hunky downtown hipster sleazebag ex-boyfriend Jay. Go Whitney! ...Though, of course, this plot clearly falls in line with my prediction of this show being made to emulate the trials and tribulations of Sex and the City's lovable Carrie and love-to-hate Mr. Big. Case in point: In the finale of the first season of Sex and the City, Carrie tells Mr. Big to take a hike too. Sigh...how predictable.

I like Allie. I hate her player boyfriend, Adam, though. I definitely fell into the producer's love/hate trap here. And I bet all the male MTV viewers who watch this show (yeah, you're out there) love Allie and give props to Adam for scoring such a hot chick while getting some on the side. Those MTV producers are geniuses.

I like Olivia. She obviously got this gig specifically by agreeing to play the gorgeous, snobby, rich-girl villain. And why the heck else would she be working as an intern for DVF other than to implement the character of Whitney's frenemy in the workplace. Love it!

Jay, Jay, Jay.... As I've already mentioned, he's obviously styled to be the hipster version of "Mr. Big" ... obviously without any of the "bignesss." The producers are clearly setting him up to be the guy Whitney dumps and takes back...over and over again. I bet the number of expected break-ups and reunifications are spelled out in their contracts.

So, all in all, it was a great season. And yes, I know the show is blatantly set up and not real at all. (Why else would Jay's ex-girlfriends, for instance, "happen" to show up in the most unexpected places again and again?) But I know that taking "real" people and setting them up to deal with life's most awkward moments is exactly what keeps us all watching. For that, I give props to MTV.

Grey's Lubotomy

If you didn't know by now, Grey's Anatomy has gotten bad. Really bad. Perhaps Shonda Rhimes is the only television-watching person who isn't aware of this fact. So, Shonda, in case you're reading this, this message is for you: Despite the unbearable storylines, the annoying characters, and the over-the-top goriness, I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt; I wanted to keep liking your show, I wanted to keep forcing my husband to watch it with me.... But I can no longer justify doing so. Your show is that bad.

And as much as I really wanted to find out how Izzie and George end up getting canned, I just can't take having to watch anymore of this crap to find out. The last episode was so unbearable that I fast-forwarded through the whole thing on my Tivo, just to see if Izzie and George are still on the show by the end. The highlight of the episode: Denny (the talking ghost) didn't make an appearance. The downside: Izzie and George are still here. Sigh. Leave it to the brilliant minds at ABC to keep this garbage on while canceling Dirty Sexy Money.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Bratty

The CW got a head start on the Fall's season's premieres, giving teeny boppers and teeny bopper wannabes alike something to watch, while we awaited the season's more meaty shows from the grown-up networks. Here's my take on the three CW shows I'm watching, which (coincidentally?) share one common theme of: "Don't you wish you were this filthy rich? Ha ha, oh but you're not! Sucks to be you!" (I'm likewise -- coincidentally or not -- eagerly awaiting the season premiere of Dirty, Sexy Money...but that's a totally different future post.)

Gossip Girl: No matter what the writers throw at me with this one, I'll keep watching. It's like a train wreck on a glamorous fashion runway, and I just can't get enough. Right now, I'm torn between wanting Serena and Dan together v. wanting to see more of the old, bad-girl Serena. I think the latter will prove much more entertaining. (And anyway, who needs Serena and Dan together on TV when you can see the actors who play them holding hands in weekly tabloid pics?) I'm also hating on Vanessa right now for being so naive and stupid (with telling the Duke about his wife's affair with her stepson). Nevertheless, I would like to see the relationship between Vanessa and Nate develop. I love seeing the rich boy falls in love with poor girl plot. It gives us girls hope.

90210: I've been concerned that this one won't survive. Watching this remake made me remember just how cheesy the original was (with a clear lesson learned from each episode's teenage angst story -- i.e., don't do drugs, don't have sex) which made me realize how difficult it will be to remake such a show nowadays, when the competition is shows like Gossip Girl, which provide excellent entertainment without no societal benefit whatsoever (my...how far we've come since the innocent days of shows like Dawson's Creek). The new 90210 has been trying to walk a fine line between Gossip Girl and the 90210 of days yore, with the more recent episodes being better than the first. I think the show has great potential, if done right...let's hope they can make it happen.

Privileged: I thought I liked this one...until I saw the second and third episodes, which just draaagged. They have to pick up the pace with this one. I'm already quite sick of the evil (but is she?) sister v. the angelic (but is she?) tutor plotline. Can we get on with it and get to something juicier happening? Something's missing with this show, and I hope they can fix it fast. I can only hold out for a handful more episodes.

Project Boring

Is it me, or is Project Runway just not so great anymore? While I still get excited every Wednesday to hear Tim Gunn's critiques and Heidi Klum's catch phrases, I find myself just not that into the contestants, or their fashions, for the most part. In fact, I can't say that I'm rooting for anyone. At the same time, I can honestly say that nearly every one of the contestants has annoyed me ... and those two blond Christian Siriano wannabes, Blayne and Suede, in particular. (And, for some reason, I constantly get those two guys confused.) All in all, the challenges are eh. The contestants are blah. And the fashions are okay. Perhaps the biggest problem of the show is that it's already been done ... four times. My prediction: Next season's switch to Lifetime will either kill the show or bring some new life into it. Either way, nothing's as bad as the slow death its dying right now on Bravo.

902010, Baby!

If there's one show I'm totally psyched to see this fall (well, I'm psyched about a lot of shows but that's another post...) it has to be the remake of 90210. A lot of people are booing the concept of this remake, but I'm welcoming it with open arms. How great will it be to relive one of the best shows ever made, but with an updated wardrobe and vocabulary, modern promiscuity, and all in HD? I can't wait! What do you think?

As for the juicy gossip of which of our old Beverly High friends will appear in the first few episodes, rumor has it that Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth are in, but Tori Spelling is out (for personal reasons). I'm sure that the producers will also save some surprise cameo appearances as the show continues.

My prediction is that this show will be a huge hit...way bigger than the OC ever was. After all, 90210 ain't never broke (the show simply had to end because the kids grew up and started to all look the age of Andrea Zuckerman circa high school -- wait, I think that's how old I look now) ... so no reason to fix it. All it needs is a nice 2008 makeover a la Gossip Girl. ...Now if they'd only remake Melrose Place....

Finale-land

Spotted! Gossip Girl's season finale, leaving us wondering: Is there any hope for Serena and Dan? How long will it be before Lilly cheats on Bart with her first true love? Will Blair ever forgive Chuck (again), and will Chuck ever grow up? Why did Nate and Vanessa break up? What will Jenny Humphrey's role in the cool-girl-clique be after working with Blair's mom for the summer? And, of course, will Serena and Nate and Vanessa and Dan hook up? One thing's for sure -- this is the best new show of the year. The writing is great, with very believable dialogue (even though the Upper East Side brattiness may sometimes seem a bit much). Ultimately, I love that Dan can call Serena for what she is -- crazy -- without going into a long SAT-word-filled rant like they would have on Dawson's Creek.

As for the season finale of Grey's Anatomy, well, it left us viewers just as unimpressed as the rest of the season has. Grey's is just getting more and more boring. And as soon as you think something interesting might happen, Derek and Meredith get back together...or Derek and Meredith break up. How about a new plot line for a change? The hubby predicts that Derek will get into a car accident on his way to tell Rose that he's still in love with Meredith. We'll see....

The season finale of The Office certainly did not disapoint. Is it really not Michael's baby? Or is Jan lying? Hmm.... I can't get enough of Michael and Jan's craziness. Soo excited about next season.

The finale of Desperate Housewives takes the cake, however. We get to zoom five years forward and see where the girls all end up (and strangely enough, Eddie is missing from the montage). Does this mean that the new season will start five years in the future? Or was that just a glimpse, with the show continuing in the present? Either way, the show is finally back on track, with the most satisfying finale of the year.

A toast to seasons gone, and seasons to come! ...But do I really have to wait a whole 3 months now for my stories??? Oh, the agony!

Conan for Leno and Fallon for Conan

NBC has announced that Conan O'Brien will be taking over as host of Jay Leno's Tonight show, starting in 2009, and Jimmy Fallon (formerly of SNL) will be taking over Conan's time slot. Finally, late night might actually get fun. This begs the question: What will Conan's shtick be, now that he can't pull the "woe is me, my time slot is so late that the only people we could pull together as guests for you tonight are Al Roker and the masturbating bear?" This also makes me realize that I'm getting old because I'll finally be able to relate to a late-night host. Sad, but hopefully the funny will make up for it.

And the Mirror Ball Trophy Goes to...

Kristi Yamaguchi!

And if it hadn't gone to her, I would've been very mad at Dancing With the Stars. Kristi totally deserved to win. In fact, I think she's the best dancer they've ever had on the show. I can't see how anyone can top her next season, unless they start picking celebrity dancers as the "the Stars." Congratulations, Kristi. You've made future seasons of Dancing With the Stars, well, kinda pointless.

THIS is Seinfeld?

I recently watched the first season of Seinfeld on DVD...and wow, what a snoozer. Has anyone even seen the early Seinfelds anyway? Or did NBC refrain from airing repeats of those out of fear that it would make the rest of Seinfeld look bad? The first season is really quite awful. In fact, it's so awful that I wonder how Seinfeld ever got renewed for a second season. Perhaps viewers and networks simply weren't as picky and short-tempered in the late 80's/early 90's as they are now? These days, if your pilot is a stinker, they might pull you off before you get to air your third episode (case-in-point: the American version of Coupling), and even a Golden Globe won't save your show (case-in-point: Geena Davis's Commander in Chief).

Well, I'm glad Seinfeld got through that first bad season to give us one of the greatest TV shows in history. (Makes me think of all the other shows with great potential that were cancelled prematurely by those greedy networks heads ... imagine all the great TV we may have missed out on because of them.) Regardless, if you're ever in the mood for renting Seinfeld, trust me -- just start with Season 2.

A Tribute to the AARP?

Okay, so here's a quiz. Is this a picture of:

a) Barbara Walters with her family?
b) Barbara Walters with her bingo night buddies?
c) Barbara Walters with the new cast of the Cataractic View?
d) Barbara Walters with a bunch of really, really old people who are shockingly even older than she is?

April Showers Bring...Good Television!

It's taken months of watching agonizingly terrible reality TV and reruns and praying that it will soon stop...BUT, it's finally here -- REAL television!!! Yes, with the writer's strike over and those crews and casts back in action, our favorite shows are finally coming back to life in the next few weeks, and boy, am I excited! (Really. I am sooo excited! I have been counting down the weeks, waiting for my TV to mean something to me again. When shows like Cavemen and Carpoolers and Don't Forget the Lyrics seem appealing, you know television's in trouble.) So, without further ado, here is a list (in air date order) of when the REAL shows are coming back...[Drumroll, please]...:

Samantha Who: Monday, April 7

Boston Legal: Tuesday, April 8

30 Rock: Thursday, April 10

The Office: Thursday, April 10

Desperate Housewives: Sunday, April 13

Smallville:* Thursday, April 17 (*Okay, so you might be asking yourself, "Huh? This is what she considers to be a REAL TV show?" Well, no. I don't. It's in here for the sake of one particular reader of this blog who would, sadly enough, be interested. Hey, at least I didn't stoop low enough to include the air date for Battlestar Gallactica (April 4).)

Brothers & Sisters: Sunday, April 20

Gossip Girl: Monday, April 21

Grey's Anatomy: Thursday, April 24

Ugly Betty: Thursday, April 24

Lost: Thursday, April 24

Unfortunately, Dirty Sexy Money and Pushing Daisies will not return until next season.

As for Lipstick Jungle and Cashmere Mafia -- the shows that got me through the dreary, terrible-TV weeks of February and March -- I don't know when and if they will return. (And to tell you the truth, as long as Dirty Sexy Money and Gossip Girl are back, I frankly don't care about the other filthy rich people shows; they simply don't measure up.)

So, get your DVR's ready, get your feet up, and get back to being friends with your TV (oh, I've missed you so, TV)! ...April's never looked so good.