Step Right Up to See the NYC Reality Freak Show

The latest issue of NY Magazine includes an article called "The NYC Reality Freak Show," which meanders in circles analyzing Bravo's recent string of NYC-focused reality TV shows, in a quest to answer: "In NYC Prep, as in The Real Housewives of New York City, Manhattan is a kind of moral hell, corrupted by money and power and baubles and drinks. Is it really this bad?"

Yes, it's that bad, and why wouldn't it be? If the grown women on Real Housewives -- who did not grow up in the money-obsessed era of Paris Hilton and the like -- act like spoiled children with over-sized wallets, then how are NYC private school teenagers going to act?

And please spare us the excuses from these kids for why they have ended up being unfairly misrepresented as spoiled brats on television:

. . . [S]ome of the NYC Prep cast I interviewed suggested that the people they were onscreen were not the people they were in real life. Kelli, for example, says that she doesn’t live alone—on the show, she lives in an apartment while her parents stay in the Hamptons, popping in once in a while—and also claims to have never been interested in Sebastian, on whom she is supposed to have an unrequited crush.

Really, Kelli? So the producers forced you and your parents to pretend that you live alone for six nights of the week, and then they forced you to giggle on camera about how great it is to go out every night when you live with only your brother? Or was it the shock of seeing what you actually look and sound like on television that subsequently made you recant?

Obviously, good reality shows are like fun mirrors (in continuing with the freak show metaphor). Talented producers pick up on potentially sensational personality traits that are already present in each cast member, and they exaggerate them to grab the viewer's attention and mold a television character. (Clockwise from top left: Sexually-confused PC, queen bee Jessie, trying-too-hard Kelli, over-driven Camille, wannabe-playboy Sebastian, and status-seeking Taylor.)

But, while exaggerated, these traits are not made up. Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel says it best in the same article:

Frankel was approached for The Real Housewives by a producer at a polo match in the Hamptons, but initially turned it down. “I thought it would be tragic, just tragic, a bunch of women drinking and acting like idiots, and I would be the idiot who’d been on two reality shows,” she says. But she went to a party where she met the rest of the cast and changed her mind. “I thought, Maybe I should do this, because there is no way I could look like a crazy person with all these crazy people.” She lets out a guffaw. “You can’t believe these shows are real, because you don’t believe that people could be this insane, but everything is 100 percent genuine.” She sighs.

And (to the producers' chagrin, I'm sure) Bethenny has succeeded in coming off as the only remotely non-crazy Housewife.

Of course, it's nice to have a stable Bethenny character once in a while, so that there's someone who says aloud exactly what you're already thinking about the rest of the wacky cast. But, come on, it's the crazies that make for great television -- just as the freaks make for great circus acts.

A Real (Kinda) Celebrity Sighting!

If you read this blog, you know that I'm constantly on the lookout for celebrity sightings, but I have a real knack for never spotting any celebrities. Well, I totally forgot to inform everyone that I finally ran into a real celebrity about a month ago, just strolling the streets of New York (Chelsea, on a Saturday night, to be exact). It's this guy:
...You know, he's that guy from 30 Rock...the one whose name no one knows. So, alright, he's not much of a celebrity, but he's better than a reality show pseudoceleb. I'm moving on up.

Bromance: The Evolution of Man

The American "man" as we once knew him is officially dead. This important point in history was marked by the premiere of MTV's new reality show: Bromance. For years I've been saying that my generation has spawned a new breed of metrosexual men, forcing women to take on the dominant role in society. These men can't change a flat tire; they can't bang a nail into the wall; they can't throw a punch. But they can accessorize like nobody's business...while still coming home to a woman. What was once somewhat of a hypothesis has now been confirmed by this groundbreaking show.

The premise of Bromance is that a bunch of random guys compete to be the new best friend of Brody Jenner (of The Hills' fame - 15 minutes of it, that is). I don't know which scene of the show's first episode made me most confused -- the middle-of-the-night kidnapping of the boys in their skivvies for their first meeting with Brody, or the hot tub elimination, during which Brody told his "bros" (again in their skivvies) which qualities he admired most about each one.

In fact, at the outset of the show, everything about it made me think it was simply Brody Jenner's clever way of coming out of the closet (via a Tila Tequila-like confession to the contestants about why they were really there). But as the show progressed and 1) the only openly gay contestant left because it wasn't what he had expected it to be (obviously the same thing I expected it to be), and 2) one of the apparently heterosexual contestants himself noted that the jacuzzi scene was "awkward," I started to realize this show might be more profound than I initially gave it credit for.

I confirmed this realization when I looked up the word "bromance" online; urbandictionary.com defines it as "[d]escrib[ing] the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males." The show, indeed, seems to play off a bunch of heterosexual men feeling comfortable enough with their metro-sexuality to engage in "bromance." What's profound about this is that it marks the end of the era of the manly American man as our parents knew him. The new man is a girly man and he's fine with it -- proud of it, even. For a decade or so, he's been the "metro" who feels comfortable enough with his sexuality to put lots of product in his hair and to take longer than his female counterpart to get ready before going out. Now he's the "bro" who feels comfortable sitting in a hot tub with a bunch of men he just met, discussing his feelings for them...but not in that way.

...Just one small step for Brody Jenner, one large leap for metro-kind, and one more reason why women no longer need men. Suckers!

Finally! A RealityTVPseudoCelebrity Spotting

I'm a bit obsessed with celebrities, so I'm always on the lookout for them. Unfortunately, I have a funny knack for never spotting them. The problem in New York City is that they look just like your average, ordinary folk, just walking down the street...especially when it gets cold and everyone's bundled up and red-nosed. At least in L.A., when you see a regular-looking, skimpily-dressed girl walking down the street, but she happens to be swamped by photographers, you know she must be famous. Here, celebrities probably squeek past me on the street regularly, and I would never even know it.

Well, I think my curse may have been broken today! I could've sworn I saw McKey from America's Next Top Model Cycle 11 walking into a Starbucks on 56th St. this morning, as I was walking out of it. I did a double take, and I'm pretty sure it was her, as she has rather distinct facial features and she's obviously freakishly tall.

Okay, okay -- so she's not much of a celebrity. But what's really cool about today's realitytvceleb-spotting is that now, I have a reason to predict that McKey will win tonight's finale. (Okay, so she's kind of a shoe-in to begin with, but....) What does McKey walking out of a Starbucks in NYC have to do with her winning ANTM, you ask? Well, we ANTM fans all know that once you win ANTM you move to NYC, of course. Where else would you possibly go if Tyra Banks crowned you as being model fabulous (but not nearly as fabulous as Tyra herself)? Duh!