Us Weekly Mad Musing

What the %*$@!?! Heidi Montag is on yet another cover of Us
Weekly?! ...And just weeks after being on the May 7th cover!? And just months after being on at least four other covers that have made us want to scream, "who cares??" Have the people at Us Weekly lost their minds (and their pull)? While People Magazine snaggs photos of Ashlee Simpson's and Mariah Carey's weddings, all Us Weekly can give its readers is Heidi Montag in a fake wedding veil?! You've gotta be kidding me!

For this, I have downgraded my "Weekly Us Weekly Musings" posts to just an ordinary, random, once-in-a-while "Us Weekly Musing" that I will post only when Us Weekly deserves mention. I am very disappointed in you, Us Weekly! Baah! I will have to think twice before renewing my subscription.

Finale-land

Spotted! Gossip Girl's season finale, leaving us wondering: Is there any hope for Serena and Dan? How long will it be before Lilly cheats on Bart with her first true love? Will Blair ever forgive Chuck (again), and will Chuck ever grow up? Why did Nate and Vanessa break up? What will Jenny Humphrey's role in the cool-girl-clique be after working with Blair's mom for the summer? And, of course, will Serena and Nate and Vanessa and Dan hook up? One thing's for sure -- this is the best new show of the year. The writing is great, with very believable dialogue (even though the Upper East Side brattiness may sometimes seem a bit much). Ultimately, I love that Dan can call Serena for what she is -- crazy -- without going into a long SAT-word-filled rant like they would have on Dawson's Creek.

As for the season finale of Grey's Anatomy, well, it left us viewers just as unimpressed as the rest of the season has. Grey's is just getting more and more boring. And as soon as you think something interesting might happen, Derek and Meredith get back together...or Derek and Meredith break up. How about a new plot line for a change? The hubby predicts that Derek will get into a car accident on his way to tell Rose that he's still in love with Meredith. We'll see....

The season finale of The Office certainly did not disapoint. Is it really not Michael's baby? Or is Jan lying? Hmm.... I can't get enough of Michael and Jan's craziness. Soo excited about next season.

The finale of Desperate Housewives takes the cake, however. We get to zoom five years forward and see where the girls all end up (and strangely enough, Eddie is missing from the montage). Does this mean that the new season will start five years in the future? Or was that just a glimpse, with the show continuing in the present? Either way, the show is finally back on track, with the most satisfying finale of the year.

A toast to seasons gone, and seasons to come! ...But do I really have to wait a whole 3 months now for my stories??? Oh, the agony!

China Had Birdflu, France Has Sarkosis

I loved this New York Times articles about the identification of a new illness among the French: obsessive Sarkosis, an unhealthy fascination with the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy. It explains a lot about the French...oh la la. Thought I'd share: A Passion for (and Against) Sarkozy.

Conan for Leno and Fallon for Conan

NBC has announced that Conan O'Brien will be taking over as host of Jay Leno's Tonight show, starting in 2009, and Jimmy Fallon (formerly of SNL) will be taking over Conan's time slot. Finally, late night might actually get fun. This begs the question: What will Conan's shtick be, now that he can't pull the "woe is me, my time slot is so late that the only people we could pull together as guests for you tonight are Al Roker and the masturbating bear?" This also makes me realize that I'm getting old because I'll finally be able to relate to a late-night host. Sad, but hopefully the funny will make up for it.

And the Mirror Ball Trophy Goes to...

Kristi Yamaguchi!

And if it hadn't gone to her, I would've been very mad at Dancing With the Stars. Kristi totally deserved to win. In fact, I think she's the best dancer they've ever had on the show. I can't see how anyone can top her next season, unless they start picking celebrity dancers as the "the Stars." Congratulations, Kristi. You've made future seasons of Dancing With the Stars, well, kinda pointless.

Weekly Us Weekly Musings

So, yes, I've skipped a few Us Weeklys here and there (don't sue me). I'll try my best to keep up, but no promises. This week's Us Weekly begs the question: Will any man ever be able to stand Jessica Simpson? It also presents as fact, the unconfirmed rumor (or so I thought to be unconfirmed) that Ashlee Simpson is, indeed, pregnant.

So, according to UW, Jessica Simpson is distraught that her ex, John Mayer, has found happiness with someone else (Jennifer Aniston) so soon (a year) after their breakup. Meanwhile, Jessica has been referring to her boyfriend of a half year or so, Tony Romo, as her future husband, though rumors are now swirling about a possible break-up...adding to her despair. Jessica is especially upset that John Mayer seems to be so much more into Jennifer Aniston than he ever was into Jessica (who even became artsy and brunette to please him while they were together -- hmm...shocker that this didn't work).

And so, this proves that Jessica should have stayed with Nick, the only man who could stand her for longer than a year (no offense, Jess -- I personally loved you on Newlyweds, but I gotta tell it like it is). I truly hope that Jessica can find lasting love, but as the days pass and she grows older and adds more notches to her bedpost (a far cry from her virgin until marriage act of days past), she grows less and less appealing. Sorry, Joe Simpson. But at least it seems you'll be granddaddy soon!

Where's Bare Breast-o?

Did you know that Where's Waldo -- that lovable book from the '90s with the funny looking guy in a striped hat -- is one of the top controversial and often banned books in libraries and schools? In fact, it ranks 88 on the American Libarary Associations list of the 100 most challenged books of the last decade.

Why, you ask? See if you can figure it out on your own in the picture to the right. Or did the title of this post give it away? Okay...yes, it's because of an exposed breast in the scene where Waldo goes to the beach. Oh no! Make sure to keep the kiddies away...while you look for the nipplege yourself.

Didya Know?

Did anybody know that Mila Kunis (of That 70s Show and Family Guy fame) and Macaulay Culkin ('nuff said) have been dating for 6 years?

Yeah. Seriously.

...I didn't know Macaulay Culkin was still around, let alone dating anyone seemingly normal (and Russian). Wow.

Oprah and Tom: Take Two

So who caught the Oprah interview of Tom Cruise last Friday? If you didn't, this about sums it up: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/05/02/AR2008050203945.html?hpid=topnews. Pretty weird, but sorta nice. I'm glad to see Tom and Oprah patch things up and have it out on Tom's turf. And I must say, this interview does make him seem a little more sane and normal, and it certainly makes one think that his marriage to Katie Holmes might actually be real. In fact, Oprah did such a good job making Tom look sane, that at one point I actually wondered if the media might be the crazy ones (at least I did when Oprah brought up accusations that Suri isn't really Tom's baby -- come on, the kid looks like a clone of Tom Cruise! How could anyone possibly think that?). But then Tom mentioned Scientology, and that sanity stuff pretty much flew out the window -- at this point, Tom seemed nice, and perhaps genuine, but not so much sane. One issue that Oprah didn't touch on, of course, is why Tom didn't invite Oprah to his wedding. Oprah must be pissed about that...at least a little. Come on...it was in a villa...in Italy...and it was the talk of the town. Everyone who's anyone was there...except Oprah. I'd be just a little upset if I were Oprah.

Countdown to Sex and the City!

The countdown has begun. Sex and the City, the movie, hits theatres May 30th.

Four weeks to go....

THIS is Seinfeld?

I recently watched the first season of Seinfeld on DVD...and wow, what a snoozer. Has anyone even seen the early Seinfelds anyway? Or did NBC refrain from airing repeats of those out of fear that it would make the rest of Seinfeld look bad? The first season is really quite awful. In fact, it's so awful that I wonder how Seinfeld ever got renewed for a second season. Perhaps viewers and networks simply weren't as picky and short-tempered in the late 80's/early 90's as they are now? These days, if your pilot is a stinker, they might pull you off before you get to air your third episode (case-in-point: the American version of Coupling), and even a Golden Globe won't save your show (case-in-point: Geena Davis's Commander in Chief).

Well, I'm glad Seinfeld got through that first bad season to give us one of the greatest TV shows in history. (Makes me think of all the other shows with great potential that were cancelled prematurely by those greedy networks heads ... imagine all the great TV we may have missed out on because of them.) Regardless, if you're ever in the mood for renting Seinfeld, trust me -- just start with Season 2.