Weekly Us Weekly Musings

So, yes, I've skipped a few Us Weeklys here and there (don't sue me). I'll try my best to keep up, but no promises. This week's Us Weekly begs the question: Will any man ever be able to stand Jessica Simpson? It also presents as fact, the unconfirmed rumor (or so I thought to be unconfirmed) that Ashlee Simpson is, indeed, pregnant.

So, according to UW, Jessica Simpson is distraught that her ex, John Mayer, has found happiness with someone else (Jennifer Aniston) so soon (a year) after their breakup. Meanwhile, Jessica has been referring to her boyfriend of a half year or so, Tony Romo, as her future husband, though rumors are now swirling about a possible break-up...adding to her despair. Jessica is especially upset that John Mayer seems to be so much more into Jennifer Aniston than he ever was into Jessica (who even became artsy and brunette to please him while they were together -- hmm...shocker that this didn't work).

And so, this proves that Jessica should have stayed with Nick, the only man who could stand her for longer than a year (no offense, Jess -- I personally loved you on Newlyweds, but I gotta tell it like it is). I truly hope that Jessica can find lasting love, but as the days pass and she grows older and adds more notches to her bedpost (a far cry from her virgin until marriage act of days past), she grows less and less appealing. Sorry, Joe Simpson. But at least it seems you'll be granddaddy soon!