Weekly Us Weekly Musings

It was a weak week for Us Weekly. Unfortunately, there's really nothing too interesting on the cover. You know, it's the usual: Britney's working on her mental illness, Heidi Montag's 15 minutes of fame are still going strong, and in a bit of a surprise, Carrie Underwood and Chace Crawford split up. But luckily, in a fascinating non-cover story called "Famous Family Trees," we finally find out why both stars and politicians are crazy: they're all inter-related. Yes, as Us Weekly reports, it turns out that Barack Obama and Brad Pitt are ninth cousins; Hillary Clinton is ninth cousin twice removed to Angelina Jolie and tenth cousin to Madonna; Britney Spears and John Edwards are seventh cousins thrice removed; and, well, poor John McCain gets no star power -- he's just related to boring ol' Laura Bush, sixth cousin. Don't you feel better about the future of our country now? Thank you, Us Weekly.