Weekly Us Weekly Musings

I've decided that every week I will have a post about a cover story in the latest Us Weekly.

Luckily, the stork brought my Us Weekly to me on Thursday instead of Friday this week -- giving me an extra whole day to read before I muse. And even better, this week Heidi Montag was finally not on the cover (whew) ...giving me a full good three stories to choose from. So, I decided to write about two (two!) stories at once!

First, Us Weekly sources say that Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are close to tying the knot. Even Ryan Phillippe has given his blessing (as if!). Good for Reese and Jake! I think they're very cute together, and Jake seems to be such a nicer guy than Ryan (who still hasn't denied the cheating rumors, even when asked about it on the Howard Stern Show). And because Jake's career is so much more successful than Ryan's, I think there will be less conflict in this relationship. I see a cover story about a wedding coming soon.

And shocker, shocker, in our second cover story, Kevin Federline is thinking of reuniting with Britney Spears. Thing is, now that he realizes why she's crazy (bipolar disorder), he thinks it can work. Granted, now that she's medicated, I hope they can figure something out, for the sake of those boys and for Britney's sake. But of all the Hollywood relationships out there, I just don't see this one lasting. You see, it's a simple law of physics: trailer trash + trailer trash = divorce. And even when money is thrown into the equation, the values simply don't change.