Spotted: Suri Cruise

April 30, 2010, 9:20 am - Suri Cruise and Tom Cruise's mom crossing Park Avenue, heading east on 54th Street, right next to me. Awesome! (And of course I know what Tom Cruise's mom looks like!)

Project Runway in LDTV?

I've been trying to give Project Runway on Lifetime a chance, but I have only so much patience to give when it's broadcast in murky, low-quality non-HD on Time Warner Cable in New York City. Wtf? How can I properly analyze the intricate stitching and unique patterns so as to enjoyably assess which designers are the best of the bunch, when I can barely see the color of each garment?

Sigh. I don't know how we lived before HD, but get with it Lifetime! You brought the show back to New York City, now can you please let your NYC viewers actually see the show? Hand whatever bribe is necessary over to Time Warner so that you can broadcast in HD. (Bravo does.) I can only take so much, and I'm sure I'm not alone.

Midnight Sun

This post is for Twilight fans. Actually, this post is for ignorant Twilight fans who have not kept up with all things Twilight as well as they should!

I'm new to the Twilight phenomenon. I got hooked on the first movie pretty late in the game -- November 2009. Since then, I've read all the books and watched the second movie. And as soon as I finished book 4 (the final book), I got the shakes. You know what I'm talking about -- those shakes you get when you're done with the series and find out there's nothing else left to read. Oh no! That's when I started Googling for any juicy info on when a new book might come out.

And that's when I stumbled upon Midnight Sun.

Midnight Sun was meant to be a companion book to the first Twilight, retelling the story of how Bella and Edward met...but through Edward's eyes (and through the eyes of everyone around him, as he can read their minds). Unfortunately, a draft of the book was leaked back in August 2008, when Stephenie Meyer had written only twelve chapters. Since then, she's stopped further work on the book indefinitely. Fortunately, she's decided to make the draft available to her fans on her website.

In my opinion, Midnight Sun is the best book of the series, even in its uncompleted, unedited form. (I'm currently re-reading it, in conjunction with Twilight. Obsess much?) If you've made it to the end of this post, I take it you're a fan. If you're a fan, you must read this book. And then tell me what you think.

Another Lesson in Killing TV Shows

If you haven't heard by now, it's official: Ugly Betty is getting canned after this season. And honestly, good riddance. The show's been pretty bad lately. Painful to watch, in fact. But, I do feel some sadness in seeing it go, particularly when I think of why it had to end so abruptly: a broadcast network's use of the usual time-slot-shifting-MO in the quest to kill another inconvenient show.

Yes, the writing for Ugly Betty really went downhill this season. But that's not why it lost its viewership. The fans were still willing to watch...if only they knew when it was on!

Ugly Betty started out on Thursday night. At the height of its popularity (and after viewers convinced ABC not to cancel it), Ugly Betty got quarantined to Friday night. And just when we finally got used to DVRing it on Friday and watching it over the weekend, ABC --always a step ahead -- bumped it to Wednesday.

I'm getting tired just keeping up with Ugly Betty in this post. So what viewer would have the patience to keep up with it on television (particularly in a year when the writing is a bit...off)? Thank you, ABC, for murdering yet another show. It's certainly not on the scale of Dirty Sexy Money, but the principle of the matter is still the same. I just hope Modern Family gets to stay put on Wednesday nights.

Conan: 1 - NBC: 0

Alec Baldwin's 30 Rock impersonation of an NBC exec is really spot on. When will those television big-shots learn that playing musical chairs with television shows kills television shows? Bravo to Conan for releasing the following statement today:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,
Conan

Right on, Conan! Finally, someone is standing up to them. I hope this drama really pumps up your ratings, but I also hope that NBC gets burned when you leave them for Fox.

And the Award Goes To...

Huge apologies for the way-too-long time off from posting. I have all sorts of excuses, but I won't bore you with them. So, onto the next post!

There are 3 good places to go with the headline of this post:

1) It's official: my personal award for best new show of the season goes to: Modern Family (Wednesdays @ 8 p.m. ET on ABC). Each episode is laugh-out-loud funny and well-acted. And the biggest plus of the show? We get Al Bundy back -- as an older and more charming loveable grump. The show's gotten plenty of acclaim, so you can definitely give this one a chance without any fear of imminent cancellation by the man.

2) The award for most disappointing new show of the season? That one will have to go to Community (Thursdays @ 8 p.m. ET on NBC). I was really looking forward to this one, particularly because of Chevy Chase's return to TV -- so I really tried hard to like it. Unfortunately, I have not been able to keep watching past episode 3. It was quite bad in the first 3 episodes. For anyone who's been patient enough to sit through the rest of the season, let us known if it's gotten any better.

3) Finally, how can I not comment on the Taylor Swift/Kanye West MTV Video Music Awards rumble? I was abroad on vacation when it all occurred, so I was extremely anxious to catch up on this juicy piece of national pop gossip upon my return. For anyone who missed it, here's a live clip of the fumble and the save. No surprise that the award for biggest jackass of the season goes to Kanye West.

SEVERE crime of fashion!!!!

This man is the scum of the earth. Plain and simple. Anand Jon Alexander (a fashion designer who was on America's next top model, the Tyra Banks show and dressed Paris Hilton) was brought up on charges for not 1, not 2 but 16 counts of assault and rape!!! This scumbag designer would have models come up to his apartment to do a "photo shoot" for his line and would then rape and assault them! The worst part - the models were between the ages of 14 - 21!!! WTF! He is also facing similar charges in NY with 9 more women!

Anand was sentenced to a minimum of 59 years in prison. I say keep the bastard for life!

If that's not bad enough, his sister, Sanjana is being held in contempt of court for juror tampering (she offered herself up to a juror who found her attractive. He is also being held).

It's bananas!!

One of my favorite guilty pleasures is back for another season - The Rachel Zoe Project! Rachel Zoe is a fabulous stylist and I just love watching the insanity that goes on when dressing celebrities!

Rachel and her bitchtastic assistants Taylor and Brad opened the series dressing celebs for the Golden Globes. While much of the drama is totally over the top, u gotta love their dedication!

Join the fabulosity Mondays at 10 on the channel where all guilty pleasures are born - Bravo!

Talk About Blood for Oil

Just as most other Americans out there, I am absolutely outraged by Scotland's release of the Pan-Am bomber, to (what else but) jubilation and reverence in Libya.

Scotland's reason for the handover of a man who killed 270 people and served only 8 years of a life sentence? "Compassion," of course, in light of his terminal prostate cancer diagnosis.

Well, while this reason made no sense to any sane person, diplomats and laymen alike, the truth -- which makes perfect sense -- has finally come out:

On Friday, Lord Trefgarne, chairman of the Libyan British Business Council, said Mr. Megrahi’s release had opened the way for Britain’s leading oil companies to pursue multibillion-dollar oil contracts with Libya, which had demanded Mr. Megrahi’s return in talks with British officials and business executives.

("New Questions in Lockerbie Bomber’s Release," The New York Times, August 21, 2009.)

Aaaah...so after years of liberal Europeans accusing the U.S. of trading blood for oil, we learn that the proper way to do it is to trade already-shed civilian blood. That makes it bloody better, indeed. Chip chip cheerio, carry on!

Give me a friggin break!

Tomorrow I am leaving for a fabulous vacation with my husband to the grand canyon and Vegas. I must say though, after watching the news recently, I am not sure what I should wear. Like any sane person, I was planning on wearing shorts when hiking in the 100+ degree weather down an enormous canyon, but apparently, when Michelle Obama did it recently, people went crazy!!! Some even went so far to say that she was a disgrace to our nation. You want a disgrace? Take a look at her husband's proposed health care plan! Seriously, what the heck was she supposed to wear? A ball gown?! Perhaps long pants?! It's friggin hot people! And they're not even that short!

Obviously it was a slow news day if that was all people could talk about. People need to stop acting like they are celebrities. It sickens me that I read more about the Obamas' wardrobe than their politics. They could wear trash bags for all I care! Lets worry less about what they wear and more about what Obama is doing to our poor country!!

And yes, I'm packing the shorts!

The State ... on DVD!!!

I can't believe I'm so late in informing everyone (in fact, I bet that any true State fans out there are wondering how I can call myself a State fan and not have discussed this sooner), but The State is finally available on DVD!!! Yes -- after a decade of waiting and pleading, the powers-that-be at MTV/Viacom finally decided that they might just make some money on this venture. Gee, MTV -- what gave it away? Was it the online petition from cult fans everywhere begging you to release your best show ever on DVD?

Anyway, if you're not familiar with The State, it's a 1990s sketch comedy show made by the same guys and girl who have since brought you Reno 911! and the like. In fact, these days you'll probably find their faces to be very familiar, as they have made appearances in various movies as well. And if you're at all into comedy, you really have to check out the 26 hilarious episodes of one of the best sketch comedies ever made.


All hail The State!

Why Didn't I Think Of That?

The newest gossip site making a big buzz is http://www.gossipcop.com/. Its claim to fame? Dispeling celebrity rumors and giving us just the facts, ma'am. It even has a real v. rumor --green v. red -- scale next to colorful pictures and headings that pertain to each story of the day. So, you don't even have to read full article to be in the know instantly. Amazing!

Why didn't I think of starting a blog like that? ...Maybe because I don't have the right connections. Oh well...one day. At least I've already spotted two real-life celebrities, and that's a fact, ma'am.

Step Right Up to See the NYC Reality Freak Show

The latest issue of NY Magazine includes an article called "The NYC Reality Freak Show," which meanders in circles analyzing Bravo's recent string of NYC-focused reality TV shows, in a quest to answer: "In NYC Prep, as in The Real Housewives of New York City, Manhattan is a kind of moral hell, corrupted by money and power and baubles and drinks. Is it really this bad?"

Yes, it's that bad, and why wouldn't it be? If the grown women on Real Housewives -- who did not grow up in the money-obsessed era of Paris Hilton and the like -- act like spoiled children with over-sized wallets, then how are NYC private school teenagers going to act?

And please spare us the excuses from these kids for why they have ended up being unfairly misrepresented as spoiled brats on television:

. . . [S]ome of the NYC Prep cast I interviewed suggested that the people they were onscreen were not the people they were in real life. Kelli, for example, says that she doesn’t live alone—on the show, she lives in an apartment while her parents stay in the Hamptons, popping in once in a while—and also claims to have never been interested in Sebastian, on whom she is supposed to have an unrequited crush.

Really, Kelli? So the producers forced you and your parents to pretend that you live alone for six nights of the week, and then they forced you to giggle on camera about how great it is to go out every night when you live with only your brother? Or was it the shock of seeing what you actually look and sound like on television that subsequently made you recant?

Obviously, good reality shows are like fun mirrors (in continuing with the freak show metaphor). Talented producers pick up on potentially sensational personality traits that are already present in each cast member, and they exaggerate them to grab the viewer's attention and mold a television character. (Clockwise from top left: Sexually-confused PC, queen bee Jessie, trying-too-hard Kelli, over-driven Camille, wannabe-playboy Sebastian, and status-seeking Taylor.)

But, while exaggerated, these traits are not made up. Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel says it best in the same article:

Frankel was approached for The Real Housewives by a producer at a polo match in the Hamptons, but initially turned it down. “I thought it would be tragic, just tragic, a bunch of women drinking and acting like idiots, and I would be the idiot who’d been on two reality shows,” she says. But she went to a party where she met the rest of the cast and changed her mind. “I thought, Maybe I should do this, because there is no way I could look like a crazy person with all these crazy people.” She lets out a guffaw. “You can’t believe these shows are real, because you don’t believe that people could be this insane, but everything is 100 percent genuine.” She sighs.

And (to the producers' chagrin, I'm sure) Bethenny has succeeded in coming off as the only remotely non-crazy Housewife.

Of course, it's nice to have a stable Bethenny character once in a while, so that there's someone who says aloud exactly what you're already thinking about the rest of the wacky cast. But, come on, it's the crazies that make for great television -- just as the freaks make for great circus acts.

Sarah Palin Resigns ... For Now

My take on Sarah Palin's resignation? She's totally (and unfortunately) gunning for President. In reading articles that describe the resignation speech, it's hard to picture it leaving any impression other than Sarah Palin wants to hide under a rock, away from the public scrutiny that has engulfed her life and her family. But once you watch the resignation speech for yourself, you cannot come away thinking anything but that this is all tactical maneuvering for a presidential bid. ...Keeping her "eye on the ball," as she calls it.

Celebrity Spotting

So I think my celebrity-spotting luck has officially taken a turn for the better. I ran into Terrence Howard at the Starbucks in the Sony store on Madison and 55th today. He was standing right next to me in line, and I wouldn't have even noticed him, but for the giggles of the Starbucks staff. Seems that he had been having a conversation with them when I walked in, and that he's a regular there. He was very nice and waved good-bye to everyone and told the staff he'd see them tomorrow. He looked exactly as he does in his films...perhaps even better in person. I then confirmed with the Starbucks cashier that it was, indeed, Terrence Howard. I guess that's just another perk of working for (and drinking) Starbucks.

This is so fab!

I found this online - It's from a 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly - I have to say, I do love some of these - although perhaps not the ones about staying out all night and not asking questions :)

-Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

-Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

-Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

-Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

-During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

-Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

-Be happy to see him.

-Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

-Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

-Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

-Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

-Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

-Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

-Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

-A good wife always knows her place.

Royal Pains - Dirty Sexy Money ripoff?

So I tuned in this week to the new show Royal Pains on USA. Basically, the show is about a doctor who loses his job, goes to the Hamptons with his brother, and "happens" to save a life at a party (convenient, huh?). The next day, people "happen" to have his number, and, much to his chagrin, the rich and bratty begin calling him for random jobs (Including a 16 year old who crashes Daddy's car, and a boob job gone flat)
Sound familiar?

Instead of a Lawyer who feels obliged to work with a rich family, we now have a doctor in the house.

Lucky for them, there's not much on in the summer, so I will probably keep watching!

I miss you DSM....

...Grrrowl!

Has anyone been watching The Cougar? If not, here's the awkward final episode, recapping the journey that 20-somethings Colt and Jimmy took to try to win over 40-year-old Stacy's heart, pants, and wallet. Some highlights? Colt singing his "So You Like 'Em Under Thirty" song to the tune of his guitar, and 23-year-old Jimmy bromancing Stacy's 15-year-old son.

A Real (Kinda) Celebrity Sighting!

If you read this blog, you know that I'm constantly on the lookout for celebrity sightings, but I have a real knack for never spotting any celebrities. Well, I totally forgot to inform everyone that I finally ran into a real celebrity about a month ago, just strolling the streets of New York (Chelsea, on a Saturday night, to be exact). It's this guy:
...You know, he's that guy from 30 Rock...the one whose name no one knows. So, alright, he's not much of a celebrity, but he's better than a reality show pseudoceleb. I'm moving on up.

Chapter one.....

And so my journey begins in the world of blogger. I feel very much like Carrie Bradshaw only without the voice over...
Much thanks to I am a Miranda for adding me as the voice of the suburbs! That's right folks. Now you get two voices for the price of one! Still working on my angle though - Miranda has the whole city vibe thing going so I think I might just embrace my "quaint" suburban existence and run with it.

And what's more suburban than a home cooked meal?

Recently, I am a Miranda asked me how to poach an egg, so here is poaching 101 along with my favorite recipe for eggs benedict. Enjoy!

Ok, here is the 411 on the poached egg:

Step 1: Fill a medium to large sized pan (a pot is too deep) with about 3 inches of water.
Step 2: As the water is heating up, crack your egg into a small bowl or coffee cup. This step is important as it ensures that you don't break the yolk!
Step 3: Add a little vinigar to the water and turn down the heat when the water is about to boil. The water should be simmering but NOT boiling.
Step 4: Carefully slide the egg into the water. Let it cook 2 min for a runny yolk and up to 4 for a firm one.
Step 5: Take out egg with a slotted spoon and lay on paper towel to absorb water.
Step 6: EAT! or use in my Eggs Benedict :)


Mrs. Van de G's Eggs Benedict
(serves 2)

toast an english muffin split in half
while the muffin is toasting:
blend together 1/2 reduced (or full if you prefer) fat mayo with 1 garlic clove, a squeeze of fresh lemon, a spash of water, salt and pepper. You can also add a few sprigs of parsley.
when muffins are done, top each half with 2 slices of smoked salmon and some chopped chives
top each half with 1 poached egg
top with sauce

Voila! Tasty and delicious!!

This sauce is also really good over steamed asparagus :)